
	Welcome Reader	March 2009 : No. 53

In Praise of the Frivolous..!

Serious living can lead to serious problems – we need to get frivolous from time to time, just for FUN.

“The willow, which bends to the tempest, often escapes better than the oak which resists it; and so in great calamities, it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner than those of a loftier character.”
[Sir Walter Scott, 18th/19th century Scottish poet, author & historian]

[1313 words, estimated reading time 6-10 mins]

It’s been a strange few weeks. Well, at least for me it has, and it may well have been for you too, though perhaps not…

In amongst my work with clients, building a new ceiling, training for my next running event (the Liverpool ½-marathon at the end of March, for those who are either interested, curious or just plain nosey!) and coaching the next generation of cyclists, I got a little brain-fried.

You may have experienced those moments yourself too, perhaps at the end of a long week at work, or part way through a hectic project, where your mind decides that it needs a break, and lets you know by refusing to focus any more on the thing you’ve been trying to focus it on, no matter how much you try.

So, I decided to try a trick I learned from a group of experts in getting your mind functioning again – little kids..!

It’s a simple trick, and parents all over the country – nay, the world – will have seen them do this more times than they can remember. However, seeing them do it just once is enough for you to have a go too.

“What is it..?!” I hear you ask, in frustrated anticipation (yes, if I lean my head just a little to the left and concentrate, I can actually hear you thinking it…)

Frivolity

“Frivolity…?” you reply, incredulous… “Can young children even spell it, or say it..?”

Well, perhaps not, but they certainly know how to do it, whether they realise it or not. Like my little nephew Jack who, a few days ago, nearly (and possibly did) wet his nappy laughing heartily at his sister walking, running and ‘pausing’ whilst he pretended that a door-stop he’d got hold of was a remote control.

Or my two daughters who, despite being a decade older than Jack, still compose silly songs in the back of the car from time to time, just to amuse themselves.

And many of you will have your own stories of children who did things just because they were fun, without thought for following procedure or best-practice process, no paperwork to write up or Powerpoint to present, no feedback or debrief session to follow, and certainly no project plan, clarified goals or outcome statements with key performance indicators.

Sometimes, for our own good, we need to do something just for fun and no other reason.

Now some of you will say, and I know you will because I’ve already broached this subject with a few friends and they said the same, that you do already have fun – you go out with friends, play sports, have parties, go away for weekends, etc.

However, I put it to you that these kinds of activities aren’t the kind of frivolous things I’m talking about here, because they do require some planning, may require decent amounts of disposable cash, and for some actually can turn into as serious a pursuit as the thing you were trying to take some time off from in the first place.

No, what I’m referring to here are things that may only take a few minutes of your time, though they could last a lot longer, and often happen without much forethought or planning, maybe even entirely spontaneously. There may be some loose purpose in it, but mostly it’s just about having good, clean fun.

So, what did I do..?

I decided I’d always liked how some of the card players and magicians I’d seen on TV looked very slick as they cut and shuffled the pack. So, after making myself my customary pint of tea, I spent about half an hour watching a few videos on YouTube with a pack of cards in my hand, and I can now do a fairly competent Swing Cut, Swivel Cut, Charlier Cut, and a slightly flashy-looking One-handed Swivel Cut.

I have no purpose for those moves, other than perhaps impressing people at parties, up until the moment I drop the deck all over the floor at least, but it was a total mental break from everything else and was simply a fun, frivolous distraction.

So, to your experiment for this month:

Pick a day or two this week when you’ll experiment with frivolity for no more than ½-hour or so.
On those days, whenever you feel like taking a break from your current activity, or when you feel yourself flagging mentally or physically, take a break and simply ask yourself, “What do I actually feel like doing right now..?” or, if you have a moment to think, ask yourself “What have I always wanted to try, just for fun..?”
You may need to limit yourself given time, resource or people constraints, and please make sure it’s just good clean fun that will NOT be at anyone else’s expense.
You could semi-plan some frivolity with co-workers, i.e. by suggesting you all join together for your frivolity time.
Now DO IT..! *

True experts at frivolity have something that marks them apart from ‘amateur frivolists’ (!?) – an understanding of exactly when something frivolous is needed, not seeking it but allowing it to emerge spontaneously and for just long enough to create the break that’s needed and lift the mood, without becoming forced or strained, and the wisdom to let the moment go whilst it’s still good.

Oh, and they also realise how useful regular frivolity is in making sure we don’t take life, or ourselves, too seriously, and that we make sure we provide ourselves with odd opportunities to grow in unexpected ways too…

Go on, you never know WHAT you might learn – GET FRIVOLOUS..!

* If you are having trouble thinking up anything frivolous to do, here’s some suggestions to get you started:

sing a song to someone else
make a paper aeroplane and compete for the longest / highest flyer or the most outlandish / stylish design
learn a card trick or two
learn ten new words and what they mean
try your hand at juggling
walk barefoot around your office
try a new drink at the coffee shop
eat a cream cake without licking your lips (fun if you compete..!)
walk somewhere you’ve never been on your route to work / the shops etc.
pick up three phrases in a language you’ve never spoken before
say “Hello” to five people at random and see what happens

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