 July 12th, 2010 IN SHORT: People say life’s all about give and take. It’s not – givers and takers are game-players. Life is all about SHARING…
“Games are a compromise between intimacy and keeping intimacy away.”
[Eric Berne, 20th-century Canadian psychiatrist & author, creator of Transactional Analysis]
(1315 words – approx 7-12 minutes to read. It’s a long one this time!)
Last time we talked about the perils of running on empty and how important it is to take responsibility for refuelling before we hit the ‘red zone’ on our personal fuel gauge.
I promised this time we’d talk about the games people play – that’s not just other people though, it includes you – in order to try to get other people to meet their needs instead of taking responsibility for themselves and sorting out how to meet their own. …read the rest… »
June 1st, 2010 IN SHORT: No matter what our life is like, we all need to watch for signs we’re running low on fuel, and take steps to recharge. But first of all we need to know what we’re watching for…!
“Real difficulties can be overcome,
it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.”
[Theodore N. Vail, 19th/20th century US Telephone Industrialist]
(1181 words, approx. 6-10 mins to read)
Have you ever, like my unfortunate self a few days ago, experienced the frustration of going to make a much-needed cuppa and found the cupboard totally bereft of tea bags..?
Or maybe you’ve faced the predicament of running out of toilet paper at a crucial moment (!) and found that there were no more rolls in the house bathroom..? …read the rest… »
April 26th, 2010 IN SHORT: Hiding behind every problem and issue we face in life is an opportunity for you to become something more than you were before. You can seek it, find it, take it and find yourself growing, or you can ignore it, miss it, throw it away and instead find your life shrinking…
“A man has no more character than he can command in a crisis.”
[Ralph W. Sockman, 19th/20th century theologian and church leader]
“A crisis is an opportunity riding the dangerous wind.”
[Chinese proverb]
[~825 words: approx 5-8 mins to read]
It’s amazing how much chaos one big cloud of dust can cause, isn’t it!
…read the rest… »
March 19th, 2010 IN SHORT: Losses, great and small, bring grief that if denied will lock us into limbo between past and future; we need to allow ourselves to accept the loss and grieve before we can move on to whatever life has in store next.
“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.”
[Jan Glidewell]
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love.”
[Washington Irving, 18/19th century American writer & author]
(1069 words: approx. 6-10 mins to read)
Roughly a year ago a good friend of ours told us …read the rest… »
February 8th, 2010 IN SHORT: Stubbornly banging your head against a brick wall isn’t going to knock it down – you’ll just end up with a headache and a wall still standing.
“The bend in the road isn’t the end of the road unless you refuse to make the turn.”
[Anon]
(910 words, approx 5-8 mins to read)
A few weeks back, when the snow and ice in Liverpool was pretty much at its worst, I took to the road on my mountain bike, suitably prepared and wrapped up warm, in order to get to a client meeting.
Odd, you might think, but remember that a significant fraction of the nation seem to have forgotten the ‘can do’ spirit of previous generations and decided not to venture off the couch to seek alternative ways of getting around, particularly to work.
I wasn’t going to let a client down, so …read the rest… »
January 4th, 2010
“The truth is heavy, therefore few care to carry it.”
[Unknown]
“Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.”
[Winston Churchill, UK war-time Prime Minister, politician, artist & writer]
(1228 words – approx 6-9 mins to read)
Well, that was 2009.
Since we ended last year with the theme of honesty, I thought I’d start 2010 on a similar note. I’ve got a couple of questions I’d like you to answer truthfully – I won’t make you swear to tell it, I’ll just assume that because you want to get the most out of this, you will be totally honest, at least with yourself: …read the rest… »
December 4th, 2009
“The greatest way to live with honour in this world is to be what we pretend to be.”
[Socrates, 4th-century BC Greek philosopher]
“Truth fears no questions.”
[Unknown]
(912 words – approx. 5-8 mins to read)
Take a moment now to think of a few quotes or sayings you can remember about honesty.
Chances are at least one of them was “Honesty is the best policy” or something similar. But is it always what’s best?
We are all actually dishonest – deceptive – about three times in every ten minutes of normal daily conversation, according to psychologist and deception expert Paul Eckman. If you’re surprised by that, or perhaps insulted and would protest that you’d never be that dishonest, bear in mind that there’s more than one type of dishonesty. …read the rest… »
October 20th, 2009
“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.”
[Various attributions]
(1208 words; approx 6-9 minutes to read)
Have you ever been so focused on and driven by something it bordered on, or perhaps tipped into, obsession?
I’d assumed I’d written all I could about desire and focus for the moment, but then I found myself listening to an interview with Ellen Macarthur (now a Dame) – famous for her solo sailing exploits and many sailing-related records, including breaking the women’s world record for circumnavigating the globe solo at the age of 24, and both the men’s and women’s record four years later.
During the interview she talked about how she had become obsessed with sailing after her first time in a boat at the age of four. When she, later on but still a child, decided she wanted her own boat, she even saved the change from her school dinner money in order to buy one, making choices as to what she’d have for lunch based on maximising the change she’d get. …read the rest… »
September 25th, 2009 (831 words, approx 5-8 mins to read)
(This article appeared in issue 13 of ‘Liverpool Lifestyle’ magazine from Aintree Publishing – the version here is a slightly different draft to the magazine article, which can be viewed at http://bit.ly/yRjnu)
I’d like to talk about New Year’s Resolutions.
Yes, I know we’re not even into autumn properly yet and Christmas is still months away, but bear with me and I’ll explain myself in what follows.
You see, I think we have it all wrong when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. …read the rest… »
September 1st, 2009
“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.”
[Anthony Robbins, US self-help expert, author and adviser to leaders]
(1066 words, approx 6-8 mins to read)
In our last ‘slice’ we talked about AWAY-FROM and TOWARDS types of motivation, and I made the assertion that the only way to achieve long-lasting, fulfilling and satisfying results was to make sure that your motivation was mostly, if not fully, of the TOWARDS variety.
If you still haven’t quite got why, even after a quick reminder by re-reading the last slice if you need to, imagine trying to drive using only your rear-view mirrors, or trying to run somewhere with your head turned to look behind you all the time. …read the rest… »
August 6th, 2009
“Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don’t want.”
[Hannah Whitall Smith, 19th/20th century Quaker author and activist in the Women's Suffrage movement]
[I wrote about this general concept a good few years back now and touch on it every so often, but after the last two 'slices' on Desire here and here, it fits really nicely and will serve as a timely reminder.
What follows is, I realise, an over-simplification, but I’ll go ahead with it anyway because it’s often only through considering things simply that we uncover the most useful truths within…]
(1278 words – approx 6-8 mins to read)
What pops into your mind as you roll those two phrases around in your head:
“Away-From”..?
June 29th, 2009
“Apetitus rationi pareat” – “Let desire be ruled by reason.”
[Cicero, Roman author & politician, 1st-century BC]
(1093 words – approx 5-7 mins to read)
Last time we discussed how powerful an emotion Desire can be, how it’s useful when focused appropriately and how, when we allow it to lead us or even consume us, it can transform into something dangerous and debilitating.
I left you with a question, after the “What do you want?” and “What are you prepared to do to get it?” ones, which was:
WHY DO YOU WANT IT?
…read the rest… »
May 26th, 2009
“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”
[Mario Andretti, Italian-born racing driver.]
“Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.”
[Napoleon Hill, 19th/20th century US author and presidential adviser]
“I stood, nose pressed up against the toy shop window, gazing through at it, my eyes tracing over each feature, every detail of it, until I could almost feel the surface under my itching fingers. Somewhere deep inside I felt a cavernous space open up, a void that happened to be exactly the same shape and size as the very thing I was fixated on. Right then and there I knew that, however long it took me, I would be saving whatever money I could – pocket money, birthday gifts, odd-job payments – until I had the amount that the neatly written numbers on the precisely folded card in front said would be required in exchange for this marvellous item.”
Have you ever wanted something so much you actually felt the want – that yearning, a hollow space that you knew could only, can only, be filled by possessing whatever, or whoever, was the object of your desire? …read the rest… »
May 25th, 2009 To make the most of ourselves we need to invest in ALL of ourselves.
“Break up your unploughed ground, and do not sow among thorns.”
[Book of Jeremiah, Hebrew Scriptures / Christian Old Testament]
“Every loaf of bread begins with a seed sown and watered.”
[Unknown]
[1313 words, estimated reading time 6-10 mins]
I’m going to tell you a story, so if you want, I’ll give you minute or two to get a cuppa or whatever else you might need to help you get comfortable first. …read the rest… »
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Steve Wooding | 
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