A Passionate Obsession

“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.”
[Various attributions]

(1208 words; approx 6-9 minutes to read)

Have you ever been so focused on and driven by something it bordered on, or perhaps tipped into, obsession?

I’d assumed I’d written all I could about desire and focus for the moment, but then I found myself listening to an interview with Ellen Macarthur (now a Dame) – famous for her solo sailing exploits and many sailing-related records, including breaking the women’s world record for circumnavigating the globe solo at the age of 24, and both the men’s and women’s record four years later.

During the interview she talked about how she had become obsessed with sailing after her first time in a boat at the age of four. When she, later on but still a child, decided she wanted her own boat, she even saved the change from her school dinner money in order to buy one, making choices as to what she’d have for lunch based on maximising the change she’d get.

She recounted how she’d save the coins in a pile on top of her money box until it reached £1, then put it inside and start a new pile, crossing off one of 100 squares she’d drawn on a sheet of graph paper. When she’d crossed off 100, she’d take the money to the bank and put it in her savings account. She wasn’t from a rich or privileged background – far from it, and it took her the better part of three years to save the £535 she needed to buy that first sailing dinghy.

Whilst saving, she pored over magazines and catalogues, sailing when she could – essentially she immersed herself (no pun intended!) in the world of sailing and focused every available shred of her time and efforts on it.

Then there’s an old friend and ex-colleague of mine, Matt. He’s a Watford FC fan. However, the word ‘fan’ is a far from adequate noun to describe what Matt actually is, which is without a shadow of a doubt, truly, deeply, almost worryingly, obsessed. He’s been writing match previews and reviews since long before I first met him, and more recently authored “Watford FC – On This Day“, a book packed full of fact and figures only made possible by that obsession. (In case you’re sceptical, or curious, it’s for sale on Amazon – click here – and the last time I checked it was in the top 20 best-sellers in the football reference category, and in the top 12,000 of ALL the books they sell..!)

I have to admit that I myself have been mildly obsessed with a variety of thing in the past. (I use the word ‘mildly’ as I’m not sure any of my fields of focus come close to the intensity of Ellen Macarthur’s or Matt’s, despite the expressions of incredulity that I can imagine now sitting on the faces of those reading this who know me quite well…!)

My first computer took up huge amounts of my spare time as a young teenager, learning how to program, solve problems and work out how to make it do new, interesting things – an obsession that has been fantastically useful ever since. Writing music came in my later teens and early 20s, working and saving to buy my first music computer, drum machine and electric piano. More recently it’s been hypnosis and related psychological fields – reading, studying and training for years.

However, by now you may have a little niggle at the back of your mind, wondering whether my continuous use of the word ‘obsession’ is getting a bit too negative, oppressive even, and whether there’s some more positive phrase we could use? Of course obsessions can be bad for you, especially when we become obsessed with something that’s outside our control, or we become so consumed by the desire for a thing or person (sound familiar..?) we don’t make plans as to how to acquire it ethically and positively. Taken to extremes, obsessions can become pathological and negative compulsions that seem to take on a life and power of their own – that’s NOT what we’re talking about here.

Wonderfully, there is a much better expression we can use:

PASSION

You see, a passion isn’t something you do in your spare time, or that fits in with the rest of your life, it’s the inverse – it’s something that you fit the rest of your life and time around.

A true passion calls you to it the moment you’re not doing your basic ‘life management’ tasks, and even sits at the back of your mind while you’re doing those things too. A true passion eventually takes over and BECOMES your life, part of your identity. It’s the difference between, for example, saying “I’m a teacher” when what you really mean is “I teach for a living”, and saying “I’m a teacher” and feeling it, right at your very core – meaning it with every fibre of your being.

There are some useful lessons to learn from those who’re obsessed, and I’m going to take you through something that I did a while back and I’m still working through what happened – what I thought and felt. It’s just a simple series of questions to help you focus on what’s important to you and, perhaps, whether you could actually be more successful at some of the things in your life:

1. Pick something in your life which is ongoing and important to you, and perhaps where you aren’t experiencing the progress, success or results you’d really like. If there’s more than one ‘thing’ or area, focus on the one that would make the most difference if your progress was further, your success greater or your results better.
2. Now ask yourself the following questions:
   • “If I was truly obsessed with that, truly passionate about it, what would I be doing differently?”
   • “How much more time and effort would I spend on it?”
   • “How much better would I be at it?”
   • “How much further on or successful would I be?”
3. If you find yourself thinking, “Hmmm – yes, a bit of obsession might really work for me there!” you now need to ask yourself one last question:
   • “How am I stopping myself from achieving what I want?“

That last question might seem a little odd, but if something is truly important to us, we can’t help get passionate about it. And if you aren’t getting passionate, perhaps it’s not truly important to you at all?

(If you still think it’s important to you but you can’t seem to get passionate about it, that’s an indication that there’s something deeper – a limiting belief system or negative self-image that needs dealing with, but that’s beyond the scope of a simple article like this.)

It’s an inconvenient but undeniable truth that in the end, all that’s stopping us from achieving what we realistically want is ourselves, usually because we’re allowing other things to distract or get in the way, diverting, maybe even wasting, our attention and effort elsewhere.

Obsession is the only explanation for many high achiever’s levels of extraordinary success.

So, my friend… what are YOU going to get obsessed with, passionate about, so you can reap the rewards of extraordinary success too..?